WHAT HURTS THE MOST

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out,
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken


Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

FUCK YOU

Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor

So you say It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get a little kick out of being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval you're after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where your soul should be
Your losing control of it and it's really distasteful

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much

You say, you think we need to go to war
Well you're already in one,
Cause its people like you
That need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

FUCK YOU!!

SHE SAID NOTHING (HE SAID NOTHING) I GOT NOTHING

Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her,
As they take me to my local down the street,
I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet,

They say a few drinks will help me to forget her,
But after one too many I know that I'm never,
Only they can’t see where this is gonna end,
They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sens,

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
Because I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing

So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences
I know if I faced her face, that she'll come to her senses
Every drunk step I take leads me to her door
If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure


And still
She said nothing
Sometimes love's intoxicating
You're coming down, your hands are shaking
When you realize there's no one waiting

They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her

She said nothing
 I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
I got nothing
I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
I got nothing

Give Into Me

I'm gonna wear you down,
I'm gonna make you see,
I'm gonna get to you,
You're gonna give into me.

I'm gonna start a fire
You're gonna feel the heat
I'm gonna burn for you
You're gonna melt for me

Come on,
Into my arms
Come on,
Give into me

You're gonna take my hand
Whisper the sweetest words
And if you're ever sad
I'll make you laugh
I'll chase the hurt

My heart is set on you
I don't want no one else
And if you don't want me
I guess I'll be all by myself

Come on,
Into my arms
Come on,
Give into me


I'll use my eyes to draw you in
Until I'm under your skin
I'll use my lips, I'll use my arms
Come on,
Give into me

Just A Little Bit.

Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain,
But I brushed my teeth anyway,
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face,
I got a little bit stronger,

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt,
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you,
I listened to it for minute but I changed it,
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger,

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels,
Letting you drag my heart around,
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change.

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger
And I'm done hoping that we can work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
 I'm done thinking, that you could ever change
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger

HOME

It’s a four letter word,
A place you go to heal your hurt,
It’s an alter, it’s a shelter
One place you’re always welcome,
A pink flamingo, double wide,
One bedroom in a high rise,
A mansion on a hill
Where the memories always will
Keep you company
Whenever you’re alone
After all of my running
I’m finally coming

Home
The world tried to break me
I found a road to take me
Home
There aint nothing but a blue sky now
After all of my running
I’m finally coming
Home

Well they say its where the heart is
And I guess the hardest part is
When your heart is broken
And you’re lost out in the great wide open
Looking for a map
Finding your way back
To where you belong
Well that’s where I belong

Home
The world tried to break me
I found a road to take me
Home
There aint nothing but a blue sky now
After all of my running
I’m finally coming
Home

I did it too

I cant believe it
Accusing me?
You might wanna look at yourself
Cause I already know

Its funny how you see things
So quick to point the finger, at me
I know I'm not the only one
To hear that you've been doing wrong
Your not slick at all

I already know
You've been playing me
Cheating on the low
But my heart can't take it anymore
Its been hurting me I wont let it show
I'm not saying that I'm right
I'm not saying I'm innocent ,no
Don't go acting like its me
But you've been doing the same thing
I just haven't said nothing


It just hasn't been me
It also has been you
I kept it to myself
Cause I already know
Now that I realize
We both been telling lies
It's staying with you right
I don't know

I Am Beautiful

You said that I wasn't pretty
So I just believed you
And you said that I wasn't special
So I lived that way
With critical gazes and brutal amazement
And how my reflection could be so imperfect
With all of my blemishes, how could somebody possibly want me

But God loves ugly
He doesn't see the way I  see
He takes ugly
And turns it into to something that is beautiful
Apparently I'm beautiful
Cause He loves me

I tried to clean up the outside
All shiny and new
Worked over time to thin up and look right
But inside I knew
That deep in the bottom were secrets I thought I could try to ignore
Old ghosts in my corridors
Never get tired of haunting the past that's in me



Help me believe why you love me
When I know you see
You see everything
Inside and you still say I'm beautiful

You're telling me I'm beautiful
Your screaming out I'm so beautiful
And I'm finding out I'm beautiful
You're making me so beautiful
And I can see I'm beautiful
Cause He loves me

I Wanna Grow.

It's a new day and I feel good
If I wanna spread my wings
I know that I could
I got a feeling that today begins
A healing where we all win

I feel emotions deep inside my bones
Like an ocean when the wave gets strong
I feel today is my victory
I gotta get out there and make history

I had a vision, it was real to me
Like a new song and my heart that sings
Just like the striking of a lightning ball
I feel the power of a miracle

All in good faith,i wanna grow.

Mambo Yalivyo.

"well,sometimes we complicate things by trying to define everything thats going on around us and with us..Just let everything be,and in the unsure circumstance,when maybe you want to see other pple but somehow you want to some sort of security with the one person you know likes you very much,just make her/he feel needed then come Friday..try find a better option..if it doesnt work,too bad,you are stuck with her/him for another bloody week."

yeah..am thinking alot bout this statement..

Happy Post Valentines y'all.

A Reason/A Season.

A Reason...
When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that need has been met, our desire fufilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is time to move on. NEXT!

When a prayer is answered, there is no need to cry.



A Season...
When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy!. Believe it! It is real! But ony for a season. In the same way that the leaves must fall from the trees, or the moon becomes full and then disappears, your seasonal relationships will end at the divinely appointed time. When that time comes, there is nothing you can say to make it work. There is no one you can blame. You cannot fix it. You cannot explain it. The harder you clutch, the worse it will feel. When the end of a season comes in a relationship, the only thing for you to do is let go.

For everything,there is a reason.
For everything,there is a season.

 

Happy Valentine's day y'all.

 

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MIdnight Bottle

Midnight bottle take me calmly through my memories and everything will come back to me,
Midnight bottle make it real what feels like make believe,so I can see a little more clearly,
Like every single move you make kissing me so carefully on the corners of my dreaming eyes

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight

 I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
I think of you and everything's all right if only for tonight
Got a midnight bottle drifting off into the candlelight where I can find you any old time
A midnight bottle I forgot how good it felt to be in a dream just like you had me
Cause lately I've been stumbling feels like I'm recovering
But I think it's only for tonight

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
Well...If only for tonight,

I Am An Escapist

After my storming out yesterday..almost 24 hours later..am feeling like crap..He asked me to stay and i still walked out..he pleaded with me to stay and still,i left..Well..he is not sure if i came home..if i came home alone..if am still crazy about him and now i realise i may have just worsened our already strained relationship.

But one thing i know for sure,if i stayed,i would have slept thinking of how maybe,later,i will recent him for not trusting me..and walking away would have helped me clear my mind.and thats why i got up,packed my things and left.

And still,even if i stayed,we wouldnt have talked about it in the morning or days to come coz i would have just let it go until he brought it all up again.

I will miss him tonight for sure.i am used to his embrace when i sleep and even though i am still trying to figure out what he is all about(which is not simple at all)one thing is for sure,i wouldnt want not to be with him for days and days to come..Complicated he surely is but my heart beats for him.

Good night World.

Marry Me

Forever can never be long enough for me
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe
Say you will
Good day pple.

IT MATTERS WHAT YOU THINK OF ME

Am not angry..okay maybe alittle.

I talk alot,always want to be in a conversation with whoever is around me,i talk to strangers..i just talk alot..but with you,i try hard  to read your mood,when you want to talk and when you dont.When i should talk and when i shouldnt and  its alot of work but i wanna do it..Because i want to be with you..Because am crazy bout you..and everything bout you.

Walking out of your bed tonight,out of your room and out of your house in the middle of the night..Crazy,dramatic..whatever you may want to call it but i just need you to understand that it matters what you think of me.

its not fair when you dismiss me like nothing i say to you matters,and all i want is to talk to you once in a while..like we know each other..like we are part of each other's life,Unless you dont want that of us anymore.

it matters what you think of me and once in a while,i wanna know whats on your mind.

Ps:i miss you.

Oxygen

I came apart inside a world made of angry people
I found a boy who had a dream
Making everyone smile
He was sunshine
I fell over my feet
Like bricks underwater
I like him..with every part of me..am afraid to let him see that because he might not like this side of me..but when i dont respond to some things he says to me..he doubts that i its only him i have in my life..only him i love..only him i want to spend time with..only him i want to wake up next to for a long time..but i hold back..because his heart has been broken before,and mine has been trampled on before so both our sake..somethings are better left unsaid.

My Name,The Name

I am changed..am different.. I am  not  the person i was two months ago.Alot has happened..good and bad.Lessons learned and am glad am the way i am.

A blog..who would have thought!!!